Chapter 32
The Violation
Darkness. Points of Light. Pure thought.
Mary's mother screams as the runaway horse grazes Mary's arm. In her mother's fear, Mary feels love.
It is a wintry day in Corinth, Vermont. The snow crystals tingle in the air. Alexander skips up the long walkway to the front door. His father is waiting. Open the door. Alexander bounds to the bedroom and finds mother in bed. "Alexander, this is your sister, Mary."
"Daddy, are you white?" "No," replied her blue-eyed father. "Colored people come in all colors. You will see one day."
The General Store one summer day. There's a rumor the Twilights are colored but they're just like everyone else, except tanned. "Someone says you're colored. I'll fight them, right Mary?"
A shiver of pain....It recedes.
It's not your time, Mary. But I want to stay with you. I don't want to leave, Mother.
No sense of time, no anxiety. A void of infinite darkness and belonging.
"You did nothing wrong, Mary." "Father, you would be so proud of Alexander and James." "If only you knew how proud I am. My heart overflows with joy."
Holding hands with Ted for the first time....the Boston Playhouse....Romero and Juliet....Parting is such sweet sorrow. The murder....a pain that never goes away....the loneliness, the emptiness....My Love, I have missed you. My Vermont love. Mary sobs but there are no tears in this place. Complete again.
Sunday service in Rutland, Vermont. A sea of white faces. God reveals himself through Rev. Haynes....I'm so ashamed. I coveted another woman's husband. And she sensed the presence of Rev. Haynes and he said she was forgiven. She wanted to stay in this place forever....James needs you. Alexander needs you....Mary, eternal salvation awaits you.
Mary felt unimaginable love.
A whooshing sound. The sound of ocean waves. Daylight, ship masts, the scent of sea water.
White men around her, thrusting, the movement of her hips against wood planks as she slipped seamlessly into unconsciousness again.