Blackness in the Morning
By W. F. Twyman, Jr.
“What are you actually passionate about? What moves you?” — unknown commentator
Have you experienced Blackness in the morning? Do you know the feeling of heaven and joy and peace upon waking up? To my point, to be forced into race consciousness by Blackness, involuntarily and uninvited? Heaven must be like this, for some I suppose. This morning, I woke up to Blackness. 5:36 a.m. As I suggested on Sunday, Blackness is a consequence of quantum computing, reality created by observance of individuals (particles). A Quantum Review of Blackness
At the tender time of 5:35 a.m., Blackness did not exist for me. I was asleep and thus not able to observe two individuals (particles) interact. Blackness is a foreseeable consequence of observed reality, like in quantum mechanics. I was in the purest individual state of existence imaginable undisturbed by dogma and slogan words.
The ding on my cell phone hit at 5:36 a.m. A family member felt compelled to share an X message showing that Blackness meant one thing. A black man could not fail forwards like white people. The speaker was a white woman. Her encounter was with a successful black banker in an Uber car in the early morning hours in central North Carolina. Under my quantum model of computing Blackness, we have the set up for the observed reality of Blackness. I am observing two individuals, like particles in quantum mechanics. Interesting. It is my observation that gives rise to the reality of Blackness.
But for this 5:36 a.m. X Blackness narrative, Blackness was not reality for me.
So, the X message was standard fare for the set up of Blackness is Oppression. Nothing else matters.
The Narrative of Blackness
So, I glanced at my cell phone and was placed in a mood. I observed a reality of Blackness generated by two interacting individuals (particles).
An elderly white woman was stuck at the airport in Charlotte, North Carolina. I will let the white woman and the black man tell their story of Blackness. Blackness in the Morning…
“We were going to be stuck there for hours before they could bring the flight into Greensboro. And I tried to get a rental car and was unable to do that. There was a couple hundred of us stuck in this situation. We deplaned and we are sitting in the terminal and I overhear this gentleman say to the Gate Agent ‘I’m not going to go on the last leg of the flight. I’ve got a rental car and drive to Greensboro, so please make note I’m not getting back on the plane.’
I don’t know how he got a rental car. I tried to get one and, of course, I couldn’t.
I walk up to him and I say, ‘Sir. my car is in Greensboro too. I would love to like, hitch a ride with you for half of the rental car. We could do it together.’
He became really uncomfortable. I mean, I could tell on his face. I could tell in his manner. He was very shocked that I asked. ‘I’m so tired. I want to go home before 3 in the morning. I would love to share the fare with you for the rental car. Can we ride together to the airport That’s where my car is too.’
And he reluctantly, very reluctantly agreed to let me go with him.
He said he had gotten a rental car because his secretary did it while we were in the air when we knew we would be delayed.
So, anyway, we’re walking to the rental car counter and he keeps saying, “Do you need to call your husband? Is there someone you need to know to let them know you are riding with me?…
I kept saying, I don’t need permission to share a car with you from Charlotte to Greensboro. I’m a big girl! I’m an old girl. Hmmn, don’t worry about it.
‘We don’t have to call anybody. We can take a picture of our car. Please send it to somebody. I would feel much better if someone knew where you were and who you were with,’ and so, I did.
Hmmn, we get in the car and we’re talking about the election and we were ——————-.
I mustered up the courage to ask this man why were you so reluctant to let me ride with you from Charlotte to Greensboro. And he hesitated. ‘I don’t want to answer.’
It took him a couple of minutes and he finally said, I’ll be really honest with you and he said, ‘I am a large Black Man. You are what appears to be a middle-class White Woman, really, White Woman with blonde hair. And I was afraid of getting stuck in a situation where I was going to getting blamed for something I didn’t. Just to protect myself. Got to protect my professional career. It really frightened me that I might be putting myself in a situation where you could come back and say Black Man accosted me or robbed me or…’
I’m still overwhelmed. I’m still overwhelmed that people have to think like that. People of Color have to think like that. But it opened up a whole conversation in the car. I apologized that he felt that way, that it was possible that he felt that way.
He introduced me to the term fail forward. And he is a gay that is pretty high up in the banking industry and is a director of a multistate bank and he’s very proud of his accomplishments that he had to work twice as hard as some of his peers and co-workers because he was a Man of Color.
And he said to me, ‘you know, I don’t have the luxury of failing forward.
So many of my colleagues that were young white men had that opportunity to fail forward.
But I could have made some of the mistakes that they made while they were failing forward and I would have been terminated.’
And again, surprised, right. This is something. But I paid attention to it since then. I have paid attention since then to the fail forward theory.”
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Tell Me About It
There is soo much wrong with this tale of Blackness in the Morning. It is a challenge where to start with a response. I only have 90 minutes to write before the midnight hour. Sigh.
Why would a family member wake me in the morning to an observed reality of race between two individuals in far away North Carolina? Thousands of miles away from my resting place. Doesn’t the family member recognize this man’s story is a story of weakness, a lack of human dignity all the way? He is operating on a low energy cognitive script. Fear the dragons in the Southern night. The Human Condition This single, lone Black Man created a reality of Blackness in the darkness of night which the white woman participated in and I observed. I observed a reality of temporal Blackness that has zero connection to my individual compass of race consciousness. I feel sad for anyone who is operating on an outdated cognitive script more appropriate for the 1890s in North Carolina than the 2020s in the Tar Heel State. We observe an individual lacking human dignity and the resulting interaction creates a misperception, an observation of fearsome Blackness.
Obviously, this Black Man banker is one individual out of 600 black million men worldwide. Why credit his lone Blackness story as the truth of the land from sea to shining sea? Do all black men on the planet observe Blackness the same way? Feel Blackness the same way? Perceive Blackness the Same Way? The Burbank Happening and Other Signs of Intelligent Life
Mr. Black Man Banker, where is your faith in your fellow man and woman? I don’t see any trust in your fellow man, just stereotypes and caricatures. Why couldn’t you see the woman who needed a ride home as…a…woman…who…needed…a ride…home? Because you are running a flawed cognitive script in your mind about Blackness. You see Whiteness, and Blackness, before you perceive the individual human before you. The elderly woman was not an avatar for her race. Nor were you, but you chose to run a faulty cognitive script.
When did you learn to not love yourself because you are a Black Man? An alien consciousness to me. I feel more Igbo and Jamaican in this regard.
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Failing Forward
I was getting moody as I heard more dogma and slogan words. For example, this idea that Black Men cannot fail forward like white men.
The following are 16 examples of black males who have failed forward and succeeded, like anyone else:
In the 7th grade, I lost a race for Student Council Senate. It was a setback because I had a long-range plan to become Student Council President. I failed forward, ran for a higher office the next year, and was elected Student Council Attorney General. My faith was in myself, not some self-harming mindset that I could not fail forward. Glad I was young in a wiser time about blackness.
U.S. Senator Edward Brooke failed three times before finally being elected Attorney General of Massachusetts. Senator Brooke failed forward as a black man. He was one my youthful inspirations. Where is your faith, Black Banker Man? Where is your faith in yourself?
Berry Gordy, Jr. went bankrupt. His record store failed. He failed forward. He secured a loan from his family and founded Motown. Gordy had faith in himself after failing forward in the 1950s. Why not you, Black Banker Man, in the 2020s?
Percy Sutton sought funding for his radio station and failed over 60 times before he failed forward into success and a media empire. If Sutton had failed forward 60 times, why Black Banker Man do you choose a cognitive script of scarcity and limitation? Do you lack the mental stuff of Sutton?
John Mercer Langston, no told him the road would be easy in the 1840s and 1850s. He failed at his first oration but he failed forward and become renowned as a national orator in the 1850s. If Langston had faith in failing forward as a Black Man, why do you lack the cognitive script of failing forward in the Modern Era, Black Banker Man?
The state bar examiners in Maine denied Macon B. Allen a bar examination. This denial was the ultimate failure. however, Allen never heard of your excuses. He failed forward, challenged the denial and became the first black lawyer on July 3, 1844. Allen rejected the idea of failing forward as a limitation. He had to push on through failure to success. That’s how success is done, Mr. Black Banker Man.
Let’s return to John Mercer Langston, for a moment. He wanted to become a lawyer. He applied for admission to a law school. The dean sized up Langston and rejected Langston due to his skin color. Langston failed, an epic failure. He failed forward into the chambers of Judge Bliss who trained Langston for admission to the Ohio state bar. Is Langston a better man than you, Black Banker Man?
Fast forward to the 1980s and Manhattan. Wall Street lawyer Reginald F. Lewis wants to buy a company. He knows he can do it. He tries and he fails, He tries and fails. He tries again and, through his failures, he fell forward! Yes, he did. I shook his hand at Harvard Law School in the early 1980s. He is my American hero. Lewis never complained about working harder than anyone or the unfairness of Black life on Wall Street. He persevered and got the job done. He would die with a net worth of $340 million with his human dignity intact. Can you say the same Black Banker Man?
There are so many examples I could add. P.B.S. Pinchback failed in his simultaneous election to the U.S. Senate and House. Guess what? He moved on through failure to Washington, D.C. , became a successful pioneer black lawyer and Dean of the Black Elite in our nation’s capital. He failed forward, yes he did.
Robert T. Greener failed out of Harvard College. He pulled up his Big Boy pants, applied himself, re-entered Harvard and achieved numerous honors and high positions over his career. The 1870s, 1880s and 1890s were not kind to Greener but he failed forward.
Madison Keys failed and failed forward to success as “she became the oldest first-time women’s singles Australian Open Champion at the age of 29.” I Like Madison Keys. But Madison is ambiguous and a woman, so she may not count in the failing forward limited mindset of our Black Banker Man.
How about Michael Jordan? He knew failure as young kid with hoop dreams. “He tried out for the basketball varsity team during his sophomore year, but at a height of 5 feet 11 inches (1.80 m), he was deemed too short. Motivated to prove his worth, Jordan became the star of Laney's junior varsity team and tallied some 40-point games.The following summer, he grew four inches (10 cm) and trained rigorously. Upon earning a spot on the varsity roster, Jordan averaged more than 25 points per game (ppg) over his final two seasons of high school play.[As a senior, he was selected for the 1981 McDonald's All-American Game and scored 30 points,[after averaging 26.8 ppg,11.6 rebounds (rpg), and 10.1 assists per game (apg) for the season.”
My Grandma’s Grandfather’s encountered many obstacles in his life. He failed to secure his birthright, his father’s plantation. He failed at buying properties but he failed forward into lasting memory. Every successful entrepreneur has experienced failure, regardless of blackness or whiteness.
Tom Bradley failed in his first bid for Mayor of Los Angeles. How did he react to failure? He failed forward and won the next time to the benefit of all who call the City of Angels home.
Pioneer black lawyer Charles Henry James Taylor failed in his bid to be a diplomat to Bolivia. What happened next? Taylor failed forward into a lucrative Atlanta law practice where he won 63 out of 72 civil and criminal cases.
Attorney Oliver Hill, name partner of Hill, Martin and Robinson, ran for Richmond City Council in 1947. He failed. His mindset was such that he failed forward, ran again in 1948, and was successful. The failure forward mindset is a central part of the American Black Experience, wouldn’t you agree, Black Banker Man?
U.S. Senator Blanche K. Bruce lost his first political campaign in Mississippi. He failed forward as members of the Mississippi state legislature stood behind Bruce for another office which he won two weeks later. Failure forward was unexceptionable for a former slave like Bruce. The Banker Man is not a former slave, just saying.
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Conclusion: The hour is late. Blackness should be thought of as we understand quantum mechanics. The world won’t get better until we recognize that we are all individuals. Just because one is a Banker Black Man doesn’t mean your cognitive script works for 600 million black men on the planet. Every individual has a different story. I would gladly have given the nice lady a ride home. I would have been indifferent to her race since, well, I do not fear dragons in the southern night. Did I ever?
It is so sad when an interaction with one weak soul can create a distorted view of Blackness for one white woman and then 252,200 views on X. I am not complaining but none of my lonely essays have attracted 252,200 views. This is a shame since people living in self-dignity and self-respect are not programmed to fear racial groups. I see the individual.
Imagine how different the reality of race if I had been the individual this woman met one night at the airport. Sigh. Until normal, healthy and well-adjusted perspectives are platformed, we remain vulnerable to manipulation, to unwelcomed Blackness in the Morning. Let’s create a better observed reality of Blackness, together. Together, just you and me.
Good Morning and Have a Color Indifferent Day!
Madison Keys, My Hero
Good morning !!