Brother, Can You Spare A Slavery Blocker?

By W. F. Twyman, Jr.

I woke up this morning and I was not thinking about race. I never think about race when I wake up in the morning. My race consciousness switch is turned off. This is my default position. I swear I could live my entire life and not think about race until someone causes me to turn the switch on. As I got out of bed, I was thinking about all of the deadlines and commitments I am facing in the coming week — a gathering of parents at my wife’s private school, a visit with my Book Club to the Nixon Presidential Library up in Orange County, plans for Mother’s Day at Caroline’s in La Jolla, the stress of work next week, the flight to New Haven, the last college commencement in the family.

That was my mindset when race intruded upon my San Diego mind.

A family member who lives in race and American slavery sent me a breaking news article from the New York Times. When I saw the number on my cell phone, my heart dropped. These missives always put me in a poor mood. I resent family members who turn on my race consciousness switch without my consent. How I wish I lived amongst people who could give the race thing a blessed rest. See The Burbank Happening and Other Signs of Intelligent Life.

What was the breaking news story? The schools in one Virginia county were reinstating confederate names. People, friends and readers — why do I care this lovely morning? Does it matter to me that a far away school district decided to atone for its moral panic in the wake of George Floyd? Why bring Confederate names to my sleepy eyes? And to be honest since you guys know me, I probably feel a tinge of sympathy for the local school board. The overwhelming majority of white Virginians were Confederates. It was history. It is in the past.

Do you see how this story manipulates my attention and focus away from a care free present to a sorry past? The family member expected a response. Unlike the Burbank Happening, I was wary and weary of replying. I anticipated another sorry clash in racial feeling and consciousness. For what purpose?

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My response: Yeah, George Floyd has nothing to do with what schools should be named. Doesn’t the NY Times have bigger fish to fry like inflation, the war in Hamas and growing antisemitism in the land? Thanks for sharing. I’m under the gun with a pressing work project, so won’t be able to respond to your thoughts.

In truth, dear readers, I was under the gun with reading Richard Nixon: The Life by John A. Farrell. My goal was to complete reading the book and I did not have time for non-sense about Confederate names in far away lands. For the curious, Quicksburg, Virginia is 2,544 miles from my home. The choice was clear — read my book under the press of a Book Club deadline or quibble with a family member about goings on in a public school across the continent.

What choice would you make?

Much to my satisfaction and all praise to my focus, I completed the book by noon. Yeah!

I checked my cell phone and, sure enough, the family member had responded as I anticipated:

Family Member: We should not honor Civil War heroes who fought to perpetuate slavery. (whenever you get to read this).

So programmed. So robotic. Raise your hands if you are fighting to perpetuate slavery in the year 2024? Anyone? Anyone in Quicksburg, Virginia? Anyone?

My race consciousness switch was now turned on. I was annoyed with this conversation. Nothing about it was uplifting or life affirming. I knew my family was possessed by demons of slavery. What was the point of engaging further?

I took the bait….

Me: They are honored for other reasons. I don’t believe they are honored for advancing slavery per se. For example, Stonewall Jackson is remembered for being a genius military strategist.

Family Member: That’s great that he was a brilliant military strategist but how was that used? You can’t separate it (Writer’s note: Well, yes you can) from the fact that he was fighting for the Confederacy which was treasonous to the YS and which was to perpetuate slavery.

I did not reply as I rummaged around for my slavery blockers. Where, oh where, did I leave them?

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Conclusion: I need a case of slavery blockers. As I have written before, slavery blockers are an antidote for an inability to move on beyond slavery. Slavery Blockers I could consume two slavery blockers and I would feel less annoyed this morning. Sure, I would read the reference to Confederate names from my family member and feel deja vu. But I could only fall so far down the rabbit hole because the slavery blocker would prevent my brain from seeing and digesting the word “slavery.” In fact, the slavery blocker offers additional advantages for me, and my family member.

I would be a more pleasant conversant with my family member, saved from the brute force of a slogan word “slavery.” I have known about slavery since the 4th grade. I don’t need to return to the scene of the crime from my bed in San Diego in the year 2024.

Slavery blockers would force my family member to elevate his race conversation and discourse. He would be forced to use more creative and discerning words other than slavery to make his point. He would become a smarter writer as a result.

Finally, my family member would benefit from a few slavery blockers. The world is more than slavery. Trust me on this one.

I have too many things on my plate to get riled up about General Stonewall Jackson and a local school in Quicksburg, Virginia. Free your minds, people. The slavery blockers are on me.