I Love Me Some Him
As I strolled under clear blue skies by the bluest San Diego Harbor, my soul was taken away with I Love Me Some Him. Music alone can transport me to another place. And as Toni Braxton just opened me up in my beloved San Diego, I saw it. I saw it, a t-shirt that said “Jack and Jill Established 1938.” All of my emotions surrounding Jack and Jill came roaring to the surface. I was at peace tho’ because of Toni Braxton’s angelic voice. I love me some him.
I called out to the woman wearing the Jack and Jill shirt. She was racially indeterminate, ambiguous in her race. Made sense and in a strange way felt right in the moment. I said, “my wife and children are members of Jack and Jill.”
“Oh, what is your wife’s name?”
Of course, readers, she knew my wife. She knew my children. She knew my Mother-in-Law. There are only a few hundred members of Jack and Jill out of 100,000 black people in San Diego. Of course, she knew my family. Belonging to Jack and Jill — instant connections and contacts for a lifetime. Go to Tucson, Arizona or Montgomery County, Maryland. Our Kind of People will be there to ease one’s way in life.
Why is it that diversity trainers never talk about the Black privilege of Jack and Jill? Why do U.S. Presidents never recognize the enduring influence of Black America’s answer to Skull and Bones at Yale? Why did this mom’s smile tell me she knew all she needed to know about my wife, my children, my in-laws? Jack and Jill
Had I not seen her t-shirt, I would have assumed the mom was…raceless. Truly.
Michael Bowen on a recent podcast accused me of being bourgeoise because I was wearing a Yale polo shirt. No, my friend, Michael. I am just a pretender to the throne. I am a small town kid who fell in with these brothers and sisters from another planet. The Brother From Another Planet
The Jack and Jill mom smiled at me as if to say, you’re one of us. Our Kind of People And I thought that, out of over 40 million black Americans, about 40,000 moms and families inhabit this same town of the mind. My first girlfriend was a member of Jack and Jill. My second girlfriend was a member of Jack and Jill. And the third time was the charm, my wife.
The mom turned away from me and walked towards the pier facing Coronado island. Blessed Coronado. I returned to my life of gratitude alongside the San Diego harbor and thought of my daughter in France enjoying friendships in the larger world. And I considered my life good.
In my office, I saw that Fetterman removed his Harvard hood during his commencement address at Yeshiva University. I love me some him.
Toni Braxton! You are a blessed, and lucky man! Oh, and I enjoyed your reference to being bourgie. You were being whimsical which I dig. And besides, if the shoe fits for you and for me.... I understand the sympathy.
As I oftentimes say, if there are over 40 million black Americans, there are over 40 million life stories, experiences and perspectives. I love that you are bringing out the nuance and complexity for our readers. It is a good thing. We need more thoughtful reflection on all of the beauty and messiness and love that binds us to each other and yet respects our individual humanity. I really sort of observe life as it passes my by and I make creative associations as you do as well.
For example, what were the odds that I would be listening to Toni Braxton and be swept away in my mood only to encounter the marker for Blackness in my adult life, Jack and Jill. Highly unlikely and yet it happened. And of course, the world is a small place which allows for my rift into the intimacy of a life on the color line.
I love your "close to the bones" reflection. There are layers and layers to affinity. That's life, while we adopt a loose identity at the end of the day. I am not a joiner or a group kind of guy. So, kissing the ring doesn't work for me but it might for other people and that's great for them.
I could go on and on in this reply. But time draws to a close. What I love in your comment is felt recognition that identity is best worn loose. I love to observe from a distance, like a brother from another planet, and write about this marvelous moment your and I are living in. Your comment was much appreciated. And feel free to call "Mr. Brooks Brothers" me bourgie. Labels are fun to play around with. We get in trouble when we forget one thing -- labels are not arguments.
Please consider my above response a Stoic Observation/smile.
P.S. -- My wife wasn't Toni Braxton (you lucky guy) but she was the most beautiful girl in the world when we first met. February 24, 1989, Rayburn Office Building Elevator, Circa 5:00 p.m. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuXbKLiW1UI
I tell you this -- sometimes it is the smallest gesture that can move people to stand and applaud with profound feeling. We saw the small gesture yesterday at Yeshiva. Nothing I can write will match the humanity of the smallest of gesture, the removal of a hood.
"I love me some him." People will know the things I have witnessed in life, the stroll by the harbor, the comfort of an island library, the touch of Black Enterprise magazine from my youth, the melting away of Blackness on the tropical island somewhere out there in the great ocean of humanity. So, thanks for your comment that keeps me going day after day after day after day. Together, we will create a vault of the human condition over the days, weeks and months. I will bring into existence moments like the Burbank Happening, my time in New Haven, my love for close family, people from another planet/smile. And at the end of the day, missing Star Trek and The Twilight Zone will have been worth it.
Godspeed and love life. When I write, I write beyond dogma and slogan words.
I write life.