17 Comments

A friend recommended this piece and I shall pass it on to others. What we teach, and the expectations we create when children are young are powerful formative influences. I have seen this on the positive side and am seeing it now, at a bit of a distance, in a family that is not setting expectations and a little girl is suffering from that. It is sad to see it happen and understand that her life will not be what it could be.

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They say the most important age is the age of eight. How one understands the world around that tender age will echo throughout a child's life. Thanks for passing along this essay to others.

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My father was a rabbi in Mt Vernon, NY. For me, age 8 was 1956. As I grew up, I was aware of my father's stance on school integration (for) and later for women's rights in American Conservative Judaism. He took me to DC for the march. There is no doubt all that shaped me, along with his careful use of words and his teachings about Jewish history. I cannot blame him, however, for my smart-ass nature. I came on that on my own.

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Smile. Never underestimate how crucial gestures and words are for children around the age of 8. It is like an airplane preparing for takeoff. The years 0 to 8 correspond to barreling down the runway. One's life trajectory is being set. Lift off occurs in the teenage aged years and, with good fortune, one's virtue and character is on auto-pilot more or less throughout the flight of life. My years with Black Enterprise magazine were my years on the runway of life, in a sense, before take off as an adult. Best.

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Understood, but I also get the strong sense you are a good pilot and pilot instructor, too.

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Smile. Carry on!

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Just such an important and urgent story to tell-changing paradigms is hard - harder now since the 16 words are like hard cement in the lives of so many for whom this article can create the energy to escape. Hispanic Business Mag did the same for me in the 80’s and 90’s-

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Yeah, there is nothing like self-discovery for one's self free from dogma and slogan words. I am saddened for young children forced to understand the world through the filter of sixteen (16) slogan words. Very sad and unlike my learning experience in the bad ole' days of the 1970s/smile. Glad to hear about your positive growth from Hispanic Business Mag in the 80s and 90s.

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Not only do I learn from you, but my mind is opened to things that I have never even thought about in my 70 years on this earth.

I have mentioned before that I love learning and growing.

I feel that we are here to keep growing and becoming the best version of ourselves.

I met a friend this week, who was driving from Louisiana to California, and she stopped in Gilbert, AZ with her two sons, so we could meet.

What a joyous time to meet someone who I had only known through chatting with, and to realize what an amazing person she is.

Her sons brought me such joy, as they are being brought up in such righteousness and truth.

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Glad to be an educator. We never stop learning, regardless of age. Stop learning and one stops growing in knowledge,

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Educator? I have always believe that, as parents, while our first calling is to love, our second (and not second by much) is to teach.

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Yeah, I agree. I wrote a Substack essay about the duty of a parent to teach. I think the essay was titled Father's Day.

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I’m a year older than you, and I feel as though I’m always learning. It’s something that makes life worthwhile, and the opportunities are endless. It’s nice to be here, in such a positive space, too!

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I love positive spaces!

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These explorations of yours are well-written and valuable. I think I connect with you in that a lot of my early reading was in F. Douglass, Emerson, Walt Whitman, Lincoln; they all seemed to urge an expansion of American identity rather than a nailing down or narrowing of who and what we are; and that we blend into each other by virtue of being a young experimental country (I know and acknowledge our Indigenous brothers, but indulge me for a sec). When I read those writers I always felt they were writing to a future America, an America that would be fairer, more just to all its citizens; they seemed so optimistic. Are we there yet? I don't quite know but I do feel optimistic ...

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I like your sentiment of great Americans "writing to a future America." In my ideas at night, I am drawn by the sense that history cycles. Generations resist parents and remember grandparents. My optimism comes from faith in the coming of a better time. Nadirs are always followed by golden ages. I also am naturally drawn to "an expansion of American identity." The more nuanced and complex our sense of self, the more we will leave on the table for grandchildren and grandchildren of grandchildren. We're not there yet but I have great hopes for the generation born in the 2030s and 2040s.

Thanks for your insight and discernment.

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